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DreamHost Deserves a Pat On The Back. Simple Helix Deserves a Punch In The Face

I did some hating on dreamhost back in the day, but all-in-all, these guys are solid. Their customer service is top-notch, hosting is generally stable, and they have a custom (backend) panel that will make most other hosting companies drool.

This post was inspired by how lousy (I seriously can’t believe I just used that lame word without thinking about it…) crappy I’ve been treated the last couple of weeks by Dreamhost rival, Simple Helix. Lets jump into the reasons why I feel the urge to hate on Simple Helix at this point in time.

1. They owe me money.

Yeah, this is a bit of a change in roles. Simple Helix owes this kid money. You know that little banner at the top of this post that says (not for much longer) “Simple Helix is my Magento Hosting Company”? Well, I make commission every time somebody clicks that link, goes to SH, and buys a hosting package. This isn’t the only site that I advertised for Simple Helix on, but I have brought them quite a few customers. Current balance they owe me: $400+. It’s been a good two weeks since I first requested an affiliate withdrawal. Each request is “forwarded to admin” whatever that means. So far it hasn’t meant me getting paid. I finally talked to a human on the phone today and I was told that I will be paid within the next day or two…

2. Their (tech & sales) support sucks.

I purchased an SSL certificate a few days ago, contacted SH with information on where to install it, and all that good stuff. They will usually install the thing within a few hours, but I’ve been waiting 4 days or so with no response…my client is pissed because his site is taking longer than it should to be ready. I realize things happen, but when you claim one-hour support, you better at least reply within a day…or two…or three. Not to mention, their ticket system is all sorts of jacked up. I will submit a ticket, not get a response for a day, then all of a sudden I get a response to that one ticket from 3 different people, each telling me different things.

3. Tons of down time.

“Jeremy, don’t tell me my site is down again.” If I have to hear this one more time, I think I will do something drastic… I have a few clients that I have hosted at Simple Helix and I get calls, emails, several times a day sometimes about their site being down. I check, and sure enough, even my board game site is down – also hosted on SH.

4. Phone support? Live Chat? Email Support?

What support? When I first signed up, they claimed to have live chat support. I got on there a few times and if anybody was even there, I wasn’t helped. Other times I would sit with a browser window open for 10 hours (not an exaggeration) and wait for a response that never came… I’m sure their live chat was just some outsourced position that they paid some dude 25 cents for every hour he worked. Apparently they could no longer keep up with paying him because live chat no longer exists. Phone support? I was pretty sure that when I signed up with them they listed a phone number on their site…I can’t find one anymore. Email support responses typically consist of “forwarding to admin”. How is that support?

5. They just suck.

It takes quite a bit for me to get pissed off at a company, but these guys have done it. I’m not just saying all of this to make Simple Helix look bad for no reason, that would be stupid. I could lie about how wonderful they still are and continue to make some nice commission with their affiliate program. Put plainly: I’ve had enough of their garbage. As far as I can tell, Simple Helix is just a massive reseller for another, larger, crappier company and I was the victim of a well-put-together landing page. All of the “fastest Magento hosting” and “100% uptime” claims are garbage. As soon as I can scrape together a few more pennies to switch to a newly found hosting company, I’m out of here.

Even now that this post has been written, I debate whether to publish it or not. Doing so will guarantee I won’t make any affiliate commission from this site in the coming months, but I’m willing to take the hit. I’ll find another company that is worth giving money to and I’ll tell all of you guys about it!

To get back to praising Dreamhost: If you’re just starting out in the world wide web of development, I’d suggest signing up with them. They offer one-click-installs for popular software like Drupal and WordPress which come in handy and they have (generally) solid hosting backed by solid support.

Sign up with Dreamhost | Give Simple Helix a go

I’d like to hear your comments if you have any experience with either Simple Helix or Dreamhost.

UPDATE: Steve from Simple Helix just contacted me a few minutes ago (it’s 2:00 PM right now) and apologized about the delay with affiliate commissions they have been having. Apparently Steve bought Simple Helix from Jay at the beginning of this year and Paypal has given them the same hell they have given me and several others. i.e. freezing accounts due to “suspicious” activity etc…

It was good to talk to Steve, and I’m glad that my money is on its way, but this alone doesn’t solve the other issues I’ve been having. Still haven’t heard anything about my SSL certificate besides someone else telling me they are forwarding the request to “admin”. Kinda funny, I hear about this “admin” character so much, and I think I just talked to him on the phone. Admin = Steve. Steve = Admin. lol. Right on.

I hope Simple Helix can clean up their act and get their hosting issues squared up.

By on March 31, 2009 Leave a Comment Filed Under: Insight, Info, & Opinion

Looking For A Magento Web Host? Look No Further. I’ve Got Your Back.

Hello random web browser,

You may or may not be here because you typed in a search term such as “Magento Web Host” or “Magento Hosting Company” into google. That is unimportant. What is important, however, is that you’re here!

There’s a decent chance that you’re in the same boat that I was a few months ago. You’ve found the the love of your life – Magento’s ecommerce shopping cart solution. You are in love with the features and you’re ready to roll! One problem: You’re not quite sure who you should have host your store. Heck, you may not even know how to install Magento. No problem.

I have posted about Simple Helix before, but I just want to keep spreading the word. These guys simply rock! All you have to do is sign up, email their customer service, and they’ll install your Magento store for you! Or, if you’re real crazy, you can use their one-click install and do it yourself! Warning: It’s super easy.

I realize that some of  you may be tired of my Simple Helix rants, and want me to shed some light on other Magento hosting company’s. No problem! Simply browse over to either Magento Hosting Company or Magento Host Review for a great list of Magento web hosts.  I particularly like Magento Host Review because it allows you to read reviews of past customers experiences and see how they rate each company.

If you’ve ever had an experience with a Magento web host, be it good or bad, head on over to Magento Host Review and share! We’d love to hear.

Sign Up For SimpleHelix Magento Web Hosting

By on December 4, 2008 1 Comment Filed Under: Reviews & Referrals

I Successfully Used The Word “Albeit” In A Blog Post!

Big Money! I successfully injected the word “albeit” in my latest post on How To Install Magento (my new blog focusing on Perfecting The Art Of The Magento Install). I’ve heard this word everywhere and on several blogs. I always knew what it meant, I just have never had the chance to use it until today. I think I’ll have a party.

The Excerpt

“…..What I used to do to solve the problem, albeit temporarily, was go into promotions and then inactivate each promotion, and then reactivate it. Or change the “priority” of the promotion. That will fix the problem, for about the next 24 hours. This isn’t the ideal solution so I started looking other places. Magento is obviously new, so there aren’t many places to go to get good information. This blog remains one of the best places to find info. ;)…….”

…the party thing’s not going to work out. I can only think of one friend and he’s not available.

Cheers to me and using a new word!

By on October 22, 2008 Leave a Comment Filed Under: Random

My New Blogs: How To Install Magento and Magento Hosting Company

Update: I decided to take down these websites because I realized that I could get burned for buying a trademarked domain name. boo.

I wrote a few tips earlier on this blog about Magento (the shopping cart software) and the joys of installing it. It turns out it’s quite a hot topic. Since I wrote those posts I’ve created a couple of blogs.

http://howtoinstallmagento.com

http://magentohostingcompany.com

My goal in creating these blogs is to help the wayward Magento noob, as I once was. I post nearly every day on How To Install Magento, and about once a week on Magento Hosting Company. If you’re new to how Magento works, it will be worth your while to check out How To Install Magento. I give detailed instructions on how to do a variety of different things, as well as a video performing the instructions.

I always mention this, so it won’t hurt mentioning again. SimpleHelix is the best hosting company for Magento. Sign up today!

By on October 8, 2008 Leave a Comment Filed Under: Insight, Info, & Opinion

A Funny Little One-Liner I Observed In Magento Community Chat

It’s been a week or so, so I forgot the context of the humor, but I just remembered what was said so I thought I would share it with my loyal audience of non-existent readers. :)

The Magento Chat Room was implemented so users could brainstorm and hopefully solve their issues together. All too often though, desperate Magento noobs will click into the chat room and throw-up their frustrations onto the community. 

This particular time, a noob walked into the chat room and started complaining. He said something to the effect of “I’ve tried to figure out this F*&*)(*ing update all night, ……….. I’m ready to jump off my balcony.” I didn’t blame this user, as I have felt his pain several times, and I have been guilty of the same pre-suicidal thoughts due to the software not working how I would want. But what another fellow Magento user said immediately following this is what made me laugh my head off. 

All that was said was “What floor?” – referring to the users threat of jumping off his balcony. 

This is a brief illustration of how hopeless things feel around the Magento Community sometimes. Nonetheless, they have made great strides in there most recent updates and this will no doubt be the best e-commerce software in the future. It pretty much already is.

By on September 16, 2008 1 Comment Filed Under: Random

And again, don’t install Magento on Dreamhost – not even 1.1.3

Dreamhost Doesn’t Play Well with Magento (Even Version 1.1.3) You Would think that maybe I learned something when I posted the first time about this. Well, I thought I would try again. Since my last post, Magento had a series of updates. The current version being V 1.1.3. I figured that maybe there were some [...]

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Magento E-Commerce is beautifully, delightfully……slow.

Update: Since writing this post, Magento has had several updates, and I have found a couple of excellent web host for Magento that speed things up a lot. I have used and been satisfied with both the speed and support of Simple Helix and WiredTree for Magento web hosting. My experience with the Magento E-Commerce Software (thus [...]

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